10 Bossy Steps to Zen or How to Make your Dreams Come True!
In my last post I wrote about self-transformation and talked a lot about dreams coming true. In this post I attempt to document the process of how I make my dreams come true in a no nonsense way that may or may not be helpful!
1. Identify your dreams
The first and most important step of all is to decide what your dreams are. I went through a period after I had my kids where I really didn’t know what my future would hold for me except for my family and a desire to keep travelling. I felt empty. I was told to follow my passion but I didn’t think I had any.
Probably one of the best questions to ask yourself if you are unsure what it is that you are passionate about is this: What do you do when you have nothing to do? What is it that you fall back on? What fills up your life and brings you joy?
For me, it was reading and writing. I have always been a voracious reader and I have always kept a journal. I used to work in magazine publishing. It had never occurred to me to write fiction. Once I decided to start a creative writing course my whole world opened up and my new dreams were obvious.
2. Be sure you want your dreams to come true
Lots of people are just happy dreaming. And that’s ok. So step 2 is deciding which dreams you want to turn into reality. When I was young I used to want to be a famous singer but I never took the steps to learn singing or to perform in public. Years later, when I was living in London, the owner of a recording studio wanted me to do a demo recording and I refused. Complete fear of failure. I didn’t want to know that I wasn’t any good – even though the opposite may have been true. The dreams worth having are the dreams you are prepared to do the work for – to put yourself on the line for. Before success is hard work.
3. Baby steps and patience
So you’ve worked out what your dreams are and you’ve narrowed the list down to the ones that you actually really are prepared to work for. It won’t happen overnight. In fact, it is bound to happen a lot slower than you realise and take a lot more work than you bargained for. So take baby steps every day. Be super patient. If you know that you are doing all you can within the confines of the logistics of your life, then trust the universe to do its part.
4. Behave as if your dream has already come true
This is the visioning part. The thing that keeps you motivated. Things you can do to help keep the dream vital include:
Keep a journal and write down every day what you have done to make your dream a reality.
Vision board your dream.
Behave as if the dream has already come true. Eg I need to create an author’s page on social media even though I am yet to be published.
Prepare your life for the dream.
That last point is really important. I remember before I met Mr Right (who was one of my dreams). I was chronically single, living at Bondi Beach and living a life the Sex in the City girls would be proud of. I never had any time. I was so busy. I felt like I was never alone and yet I lived alone! There was no room in my life for Mr Right. Where would he fit? It was a massive realisation.
What I did next was really interesting and very powerful. I sat down and worked out why I wanted a partner. I really drilled down and I found that, like everyone, it was to experience and share love. I then identified that I already had love in my life. I had a loving family and lots of friends. I decided to publicly acknowledge that love and I held a big party in a park in Bondi. It was billed as a celebration of friendship. Everyone was encouraged to bring along a friend that was important to them. It was almost like I was marrying myself. I realised that my world was full of love and that place of deprivation that I had felt disappeared. I met my husband not 2 months later.
5. Be prepared to work for it
OK. So we’ve got our dream, we’re visioning it, we’re making room for it in our lives and we’re trying to be patient. Now comes the hard bit. You have to keep working toward the goal. Don’t give up. Learn the lessons, take the advice, put yourself out there, take the risks. It’s ok not to be an expert. It’s all right to ask for help. Keep plugging away. It doesn’t have to take over the rest of your life but do something every day – or most days anyway – be answerable to your journal. Even if you only spend 30 minutes each day on doing something that takes you a step closer.
6. Acknowledge your advances
Each time you reach a milestone be sure to acknowledge it. You may not have reached the end goal but you’re on the way. Celebrate each little achievement. It’s an important part of the process.
7. Beware comparisons
This one is really hard. Social media opens us up to the dangers of constant comparison. It’s good to take inspiration from others doing what we wish to be doing but remember that we are all unique. No-one is as good at being you as you are. There is room in the world for us all to reach our potential and do what we want to do. I recently visited another writer’s website and spent the whole time crying my eyes out. I realised a few things – she was doing exactly what I wanted to be doing and she was doing it so well. The bar was set high. At the same time, it felt like I’d found my tribe and that I was definitely on the right path. I contacted her via Facebook and told her. She wrote back and told me about her own doubts and how long she’d been working toward her goals. Bit by bit by bit over a long time. There really is no such thing as overnight success.
8. Tackle your doubt
You will doubt yourself. Don’t listen to the naysayers. Take a look at how far you’ve come and give yourself a pat on the back. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people. Find your tribe and support each other. Read back over your journals, look at your vision board and remind yourself about why you’re doing what you’re doing.
9. Keep checking in
I am one of those weird people who really loves New Year’s Eve. Not for parties. I love it because I use it as a time to check in with my life and make plans to adjust it where necessary, in order to become the best version of myself – which is always my end goal. And dreams can change too – so check in with yourself regularly to ensure you are on the path you want to be. It’s your life. Live it the way you want to. Take the time to self-reflect.
10. Be flexible
It’s guaranteed that it won’t work out exactly as you’ve planned it. Go with the flow. Trust the Universe. Don’t be a control freak. Breathe. Keep some space in your life for balance and bend like the willow!
Books that helped me in my journey were, among many others, Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert and The Desire Map and Firestarter Sessions by Danielle Laporte. Good luck and happy manifesting!